November 19, 2023 –
Mike Kern’s Fraud Five
Southern Cal — So what the hell happened to these guys. No college football playoffs, no Heisman Trophy. And now they’ve gone and lost to UCLA, 38-20. Don’t they usually lose more like 50-49? Oh well. It might have been Chip Kelly’s last whatever in Westwood. Good thing USC was home. And that the Trojans scored last.
Auburn — You can’t be losing at home to New Mexico State, which admittedly ain’t bad. In Conference USA. And 31-10 seems particularly egregious. It was the Aggies’ first win over an SEC opponent, in their 22nd try. The Tigers now host Alabama. Yo.
Utah — It’s OK to lose at Arizona. But maybe not by 42-16.
North Carolina — It’s OK to lose at Clemson (ask Notre Dame), especially when you were a touchdown underdog even though you were ranked and they weren’t and you have a big-time quarterback. But maybe I was expecting more than 31-20. I blame myself. Good thing the Heels scored last too.
Colorado — It’s OK to lose at Washington State. But 56-14? Hey, at least it was a great story. For awhile.
Kansas — Nothing wrong with losing to Kansas State, even at home, when both were ranked. But you did lead by 11 in the third quarter. And it is your 15th straight loss to the Wildcats. That doesn’t sound like a rivalry. But basketball has just started.
East Carolina — I know the Pirates stink. And Navy had two shutouts this year already. But the Middies also lost at Temple. By 14. Anyway, this was 10-0 at Annapolis. Maybe that’s the way it was supposed to be. Still, closest they got to scoring was a missed 49-yard field goal in the second quarter. And it was the first time they’ve been blanked since 1997. I guess it happens.